I’m feeling a little dry today. It’s late and the wife and I just got in from dinner out and I even had a few beers… yes even on a work night! So instead of giving forth some pearls of wisdom, and with the DNC going in full swing, I thought a political joke would suffice until tomorrow. Enjoy!
While walking down the street one day a “Member of Congress” is tragically hit by a bus and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. It seems that your tally sheet is right on the fence. So what we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Congressman.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules just like you have yours.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, the Congressman spends 24 hours joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The Congressman reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more rubbish falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder and hands him his own black plastic bag. “I don’t understand,” stammers the Congressman, “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning… Today you voted… and now you have to live with your decisions for the rest of eternity.”