A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Job Interview

  Because our nurse manager has tasked me with getting our new outpatient spine program up and going, I’ve gotten a place on the interview panel. Anyone that comes here with a job application, I get first run. So far, it’s been a real challenge to get spine people. Last week, we got a new graduate from a scrub tech program. I say, what the heck? We can’t seem to get any seasoned nurses or techs, for that matter, I figure we can mold this new guy into a spine-team-dynamo. As a new graduate, he won’t have any ill conceived notions about neuro-surgeons and their tempers, or any other nonsense for that matter. A clean slate. I called all of his references and referrals and they all gave sickly sweet, glowing, wonderful reviews. So, why was I skeptical? He has a background in marketing. Am I being judgmental because of his special marketing powers in promoting himself? I asked the other people on the interview team…”oh isn’t he handsome,” one said in response… and instantly, I knew that I had to be the critical one. Questioning my objectivity, I went to look what other hospitals were doing and what applicants they were getting in today’s market. Here’s some of what I found:

  1. Do you have any questions.  – “What is your policy on Monday absences?”
  2. “If I get the offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?’
  3. “When you do your background check, does public drunkenness arrest count?”
  4. Why did you leave your last job – “I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to take anger management classes.”
  5. Why do you want to work for us – “Just for the benefits.”
  6. What are your strengths – “Well, I own a bike.”
  7. What are your weaknesses – “Well, I get angry easily, and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”
  8. “Just for the record, I can’t work Fridays… I mud wrestle that night.”
  9. When can you start – “I really need to check with my mom on that.”
  10. Use three adjectives to describe yourself – “I really hate questions like this.”
  11. Tell us of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it – “well, I stole some equipment from my last job and I had to do jail-time for it.”
  12. Have you given your two weeks notice for your last job – “what’s a two week notice,  I’ve always been fired.”
  13. Any questions for us – “Can I have a cup of coffee… I think I’m still a little drunk from last night.”

Well, After my research, I voted in the absolute affirmative.

That was last week.  Today was his first day to orient with me.  After today, I feel pretty good and I’m certain he’s going to fit in very well here!

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