I am getting tired of being the one and only token conservative in this whole screwed up state.
Today, I had three of my nurse friends from the pre-op area come to me while I was mixing up my morning coffee and ask me straight up, “why would anyone need an assault rifle?…. I mean that’s pretty stupid, isn’t it?” I snapped, “They are always handy when bad things happen… and it’s always better when bad things happen to liberals.”
They all looked at me like I had three heads. Just then the charge nurse came around from behind me with an utterly shocked look. Thinking I was going to have to do some serious digging to get out of this hole and prevent myself from being an involuntary student at the next “respect at the university” class. Everyone knows that liberals can blather on and on and be as offensive as they like. But once a conservative lets his guard down and says just one thing, your job can be in jeopardy. I went on to tell my story.
“Hey, I’m not going to apologies, but I’ll …”
“You’ll what, continue talking even after that?” the charge nurse said.
“Yep, I have a story to tell,” I said with my best defiant tone.
“OK, when I was working in New Orleans, I had a federal firearms license, meaning that I was a gun dealer. I sold guns straight out of the ER. Well, not exactly out of the ER, I took orders and then arranged to deliver on a later date. But, that’s another story. There was this Trauma surgeon who was a liberal. Whenever there was some down time, he would come to my ER just to argue second amendment issues with me. He worked to rub my last nerve. After hours, we would stalemate and eventually agree to disagree. I was a gun owner conservative, and he was a liberal.
Well, one night, while walking to his car and was mugged. He was beaten severely. I reckin he about as close to dying as anyone I’ve ever seen in my career. The bad guy apparently thought he had drugs. When poor Doctor Graves failed to produce the desired pharmicopia right there in the parking lot, he was beat repeatedly with a tire tool. The bad guy broke both his arms and both his legs and locked him in the trunk of his own car. It was three days before anyone found him. Everyone thought that this young doctor doomed. He spent many days in the ICU. He eventually got better. And much to my surprise, after months of rehab, made a full recovery.
Once Dr. Graves returned to work, he came around the ER nursing station on the first night. I was expecting his same liberal drivel. Much to my surprise, his talking points had made a slight change. Lets just say, I had the privilege of selling Dr. Graves his very first firearm. I also arranged his first firearms safety class for his very own concealed carry permit. So, to end my story and to explain my perceived off color comment… sometimes it takes something really bad to get a liberal to see the light. Sometimes I even get to witness this amazing transformation”