A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Airport Security

Posted by jdtaylor on February 16, 2013


Going through security dropping off my checked bags… I get turned down to go through TSA Pre-Check even after I pay the fee, so I’m back with the idiots that don’t know you have to empty your pockets and take off their shoes.  It turns out that even TSA agents have bad days.  I step up to the 260 lbs black woman with 3 feet long oiled jerry-curls, “Good morning” I said with my best smile. She shot me a glare, “Why are we in such a good mood this early in the morning?”   The other guy, an elderly white haired guy appearing to be in his 60′s “he’s probably still going from the night before… Must have been a really good party?,”  he says as he’s looking me up and down.  I was actually speechless.  What could I say in response to that?   The fun continues, as it seems, every so often the TSA guys are required  to  do a “random enhanced check” on select passengers.   In an attempt to give the allusion of enhancing safety, while at the same time, doing everything humanly possible to signal to all that they are NOT trying to profile anyone that actually look, act, talk, and dress like a real terrorist.  So they do “random” checks on one out of every eight passengers.  I was the lucky one this morning.  I guess it’s because I look like a benign accountant on his way to a tax meeting and wouldn’t gripe too much…   they were wrong.

I’m beginning to get so irritated at the TSA… Sooo… I guess in for a dime, in for a dollar.

I put my bag on the X-Ray belt, along with the bin with shoes, belt and pocket goodies. I announce: “My iPad is in the back pocket of my bag… Just so you TSA iPad thieves know where it is…save you some time.” The three TSOs working that lane shot me some dirty looks, and after I pass the metal detector, a supervisor waddled over… “Sir, there is no need for that kind of talk. Why would you want to do that?”

“Ma’am, how many terrorists have been caught by the TSA? And how many TSA agents have been arrested for stealing passenger’s items?”

“But sir, that is just a tiny number of bad agents…most of us are honest hard-working people. Why do you want to treat us all…like…criminals..?” My point was beginning to sink in, but I wanted to make sure…

“Exactly. To prevent profiling, which works by the way,  you treat everyone in line is a we’re all terrorists, So by the same token, I’ll treat you all like thieves.  I think the odds of me being correct is considerably much higher than yours.”  I mean that I have had personal experience with thieves at airports.  But you and terrorists?

She opened her mouth to refute me, but thought better of it.

8 more hours to go… Next stop Atlanta.


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