House for Sale
I’m selling my house. When I had my heart attack back in October, my wife had a “come to Jesus” moment and decided that if I were to suddenly kack over, she wouldn’t be able to take care of this house and the land. I am the only one that can run the tractor to pull stumps out of the back, bush hog, run a chain saw, cut fire wood, and a whole host of things. So, we’re selling and moving closer into town. I want her to be comfortable and more at peace. I was completely in denial about my health condition. But seeing the bill for a cardiac stent, kinda got my attention. Now I say, “hey, I really could kack over. I don’t want my wife to stress.” It’s kinda like planning for your own death. Sorta morbid but it is an eye opener. I’m working up the “what will you do without me” scenario. After we sell the house and I liquidate a bunch of my heavy tools and the tractor, she should be fine… even if I kack the very next day.
The house thing is pretty stressful in itself. We had to advertise. Then we had to make plans to up and go at a moments notice whenever someone wanted to do a walk-through. Then someone wanted to make an offer. It was back and forth for a while. Them wanting to bargain me down and me not wanting to simply give it away. Then we got fed up and said “this is final, this price or no sale.” Then the home inspector came. We had to make improvements. Some were amazing. Like, “the paint looks a little faded… How about a new paint job and caulking?” We had the whole house and workshop painted and caulked just two years ago! The smoke detectors were totally inadequate. They wanted the new “combo” detectors that detected not only smoke, but heat, and carbon monoxide. I replaced them all. I couldn’t live with myself if a cheap-scape, liberal bureaucrat, city hall employee from Portland got burned up in my house. The double pane windows were leaky. The “gas” between the panes was said to be “leaking out.” I don’t know how you even tell. I thought “window pane gas” was clear? He wants the windows replaced.
At this point, I just decided to come off the price of the house by another three grand. This should cover the windows and the fictional paint job and the remaining twenty-seven items on the list… and save me a lot of pains to boot.
Much to my surprise, they accepted my “final, final, offer.” Now, I have to get the place spruced up for the appraisal guy. If he comes in with an appraisal that is lower then our agreed upon bargain price, there will be, once again, big trouble. The bank will only loan the appraised price. If the appraisal doesn’t come out favorable, the whole deal could still fall through. I didn’t think selling a house could be this stressful… Whew!
Oh yea, while I’m waiting for the contractor to show, I decided to do something with my leftover Easter candy. I’ve eaten so much, I’m sick of candy. The problem is that I have a lot left over. This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands…