A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Archive for the month “December, 2014”

Day After

new thermal scope

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  It’s the day after and the traffic will be horrible.  Everyone is out taking advantage of the “day after Christmas” sales and returning stuff that didn’t fit right.  I’ll be at work.  It’s neuro day and I’m putting in DBS generators all day for a bunch of poor people with Parkinson’s Disease.

Honestly,  I’m kinda glad to be getting back to work.whenidie

I hope everyone got everything they wished for.  I got some gun parts and a night vision scope for my varmint rifle.  I’ll be a little bit more upsetting to the coyote packs in the St. Helens area

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Hump Day Humor

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A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife.

“No that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain, he said.” Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. “Let’s not fight about it,” the man said, “let’s ask Comrade Rudolph whether it’s officially raining or snowing.”

As the official approached, the man said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?”

“It’s raining, of course,” he answered and walked on.

But the woman insisted, “I know that felt like snow!”

To which the man quietly replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!”

North Dakota Names Landfill

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The state of North Dakota has named a new publicly-owned landfill after President Barack Obama.

In an overwhelming 35-10 vote, the state Senate advanced a bill naming a 650-acre site currently under construction after the nation’s 44th president. Governor Jack Dalrymple is expected to sign the measure into law Tuesday.

When completed, the Barack Obama Memorial Landfill will be the largest waste disposal site in North Dakota, and the 17th largest in the United States. It will be especially rich in toxic waste from the local petroleum and medical industries.

“We wanted to do something to honor the president,” says Republican State Senator Doug Perlman, who was the lead sponsor of the bill. “And I think a pile of garbage is a fitting tribute to Obama’s presidency.

“We originally planned on naming it after a nearby mountain. But then someone jokingly suggested we name it after Obama. I never thought and idea like that would actually pass. But I was pleasantly surprised.”

The president is hardly popular in North Dakota. The most recent poll in December 2013 found that Obama has a 35% approval rating in the state, although that figure may have fallen further in the year since. Yet even considering the political climate, seasoned observers are surprised  that two Democratic lawmakers voted for the bill’s passage.

I supported Obama because I thought he would end the wars in the Middle East;” says Allison Mitchell, a progressive Democrat from Grand Forks. “But he decided to fight new wars abroad instead of fighting for single-payer health care and jobs here at home.​ ​

I guess people expected me to oppose this landfill thing because I’m a Democrat. But honestly I don’t really care anymore. Maybe this small act of protest will wake him up.”

Ordinary citizens in the state also seem to approve of the government’s choice.

“I can’t think of a better name,” says Joe Blough, a plumber from Minot. “It’s darkly colored and it’s full of shit. That pretty much sums up Obama.”

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/11/17/north-dakota-names-landfill-after-obama/

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer now Banned!

The Obama Administration has ordered CBS to comply with the Communist Revolutionaries making these demands now proclaims this 50 Year Old Christmas Cartoon as counter-revolutionary.

One of my cherished childhood Christmas movies is now banned!   Just when I thought the political correctness nut-jobs entrenched in this countries government has reached it’s peak in ridiculousness,  they go over the top.  I mean, what the hell?…  “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?”  This movie has been airing every Christmas for over fifty years.

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Fox & Friends held a debate Monday morning between George Giuliani, professor of special education at the C.W. Post Campus of Long Island University, and Brad Stine.

Giuliani argued that Rudolph is bullied by other reindeer and Santa Claus. His take? That not only is the bullying wrong, but even his coach (Comet) and Santa — two authority figures — take part in the bullying. “Rudolph is treated very, very badly,” the soft-spoken Giuliani said, “and that shouldn’t happen.” He goes on to add that:

“Comet is saying to children, don’t ever play with this reindeer again. And he tells him to go home and he bullies him and mocks him, and the other kids start mocking him. Can you imagine if your child’s teacher said to the class ‘Don’t ever play with this child again’?”

Giuliani persisted, arguing that the end of the story is where the real hypocrisy comes out. “Santa Claus is saying, ‘You cannot be on my team because you have a disability.’ Now, at the end, [Rudolph] helps Santa Claus get through the snowstorm. Because he has done something extraordinary, he is finally accepted.”

I say that the liberal pabulum that is fed to our children today in the public school system today is destroying this country.   Children grow up disillusioned thinking that everything is going to go their way.  But in reality, when they become an adult graduate from the guiding hand of the public school,  they are majorly dysfunctional.   And teachers are wondering why we have frustrated children that suddenly snap and bring a gun to school.

Instead of spending a million bucks on therapy and misleading government programs for our children, we should come back down to earth.   When I was a kid, there wasn’t a bullying problem.  Well, there was bullying, but the teacher would tell you to “get yourself a roll of quarters and man-up, for goodness sake.”   You would go out and take care of business.  It would hurt, but it was a learning experience.  This method significantly decreased bullying.

Fast forward 30 years… I raised three boys with strength and values.  They had a few bullies in their school.  They got onto the wrestling team and soon made their own “anti-bully” gang.  Even the teachers called them “the Taylor gang.”  But they never had a minutes trouble with bullies.   They even grew up into fine men with values.

Fast forward to today… Actual bullies are now protected by the liberal teachers.  Whenever a child shows the gumption to protect himself from a bully, both kids are expelled from school and neither child has any recourse.

To make a long story short,  the liberal solution  to the bullying problem by banning a fifty year old cartoon will never make their problem better.   Just like on the North Pole,  Santa and Rudolph,  The people managing our public school system are living in a fantasy land.

More fun with decorations

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I knew that Elf shouldn’t have been hanging with Barbie.  Or maybe Joe just wanted to know more intel on the where abouts of “Santa.”

Who’s Really In Charge?

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I don’t want to dwell on the chaos reigning down in Ferguson and now in New York state, but who is responsible for this?   If any company has a serious loss in the stock market,  or an employee goes postal, or something really bad happens, the CEO is responsible.  The CEO may not know anything about the incident or what led up to it even happening, but he is still responsible.  And in the end, he will take responsibility and will resign.  This is also occasionally true when it comes to politicians.  Most conservative politicians or anyone who has any honor, will usually take responsibility.  That’s what they do.  In the beginning, when they are first elected, they tout “the buck stops here” type of rhetoric.  But they are rarely are taken to task when something seriously happens on their watch.

I find it very humorous when Mayor Deblasio of New York, and Mayer  Knowles of Ferguson MO, work so hard  to skate around any responsibility for the happenings in their own  city. They both  actually blame the police for the unrest.

First off, the top twenty most crime infested cities in the nation are all headed up by a liberal democrat mayor and city government.  Yet they still don’t take any blame at all.  They all blame the lack of gun laws, lack of civil laws or some sort of lack  of control.  I find it funny how these two mayors are doing gyrations to get out from under the blame of these “police killings”.  These mayors, along with the help of the media, they are actually blaming the police… and the useful idiots that watch and actually believe these broadcasts.

I’ve got news for everyone out there… the mere presence of police officers do not make a “police state.”

I am a nurse and I worked many years in the Emergency Department.  Contrary to popular belief, I did not ever go to work wishing for trauma and bloodshed.  On the contrary, I would say a prayer each and every night for a quiet and peaceful night.  My only desire was to get to the end of my 12 hour shift with no death, lawyer calls, or drama.  I think that the average police officer is no different than me.  They don’t want to give someone grief or hardship.  A boring shift is actually a good thing.

It’s the politicians that are making the policies, rules and laws.  The politicians issue the guidelines to the officers and the officer is only doing what he is required to do by the mayor or city council.

The average police officer is an honorable man who wants to do the right thing.  It’s the crooked politician that is causing the hardship.

If we are fearful of a “police state” then it’s the elected official that makes the rules that needs to be replaced,  not the guy at the bottom of the list.  Blaming  the police officer is like blaming the guy at the drive up window at McDonalds for their poor corporate hireling practices.

Woman’s Dictionary

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Instead of going to the shooting range to test out my new rifle, as I had planned, I was asked to spend my only day off this week to go shopping. I spent the day with my wife at the fabric store. So, as I saw these women browsing the fabrics, I was thought about a woman’s dictionary…

 

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

 

7 Myths About Christmas

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One time each year, the world acts civilized for a few weeks. The “holiday” season brings out feelings and thoughts of goodwill and brotherhood in the masses, who would normally be at each other’s throats, for one reason or another. It’s a sad commentary on the state of things that humans can set aside their differences and actually be nice to complete strangers, but just long enough to say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas so nobody gets their panties in a knot.

I say Merry Christmas. Get over it.

Beginning on Black Friday, the day just after Thanksgiving, although it was on Thanksgiving day this year in the United States, the Christmas season is an officially open invitation for Americans to go on a retail feeding frenzy. As long as you’re not battling your way through the mall or other retail big box stores, someone will offer you good wishes for your holiday season. You may, however, be surprised by the number of widely held beliefs that are inaccurate, misinterpreted, or just plain wrong in regards to the Christmas season. Here’s a look at some of the most common Christmas holiday misconceptions, and how they came to be.

#1 Who Wrote “’Twas The Night Before Christmas”?

An anonymous New York resident submitted this well-known verse, “A Visit From St. Nick,” to the Troy Sentinel in 1823. Clement C. Moore, a local professor and poet, claimed it in 1836, though its structure and style matched none of his other published works. Another family in the area came forward to state that their patriarch had been reciting the poem to them each Christmas Eve since at least 1809. Many suspect that the verse came over with Dutch settlers, because of all the cultural references mentioned in the work. Regardless of its origins, the majority of people are familiar with this poem, but don’t have a clue who gets the credit for writing it or it’s actual origin.

#2 Are Real Christmas Trees A Fire Hazard?

Every year, of the millions of Christmas trees put up all over the world, only a small percentage of fires occur that can be traced back to shitty wiring. Generally, the problem is faulty or overloaded wiring, and not the actual tree, that is to blame. Fire safety experts advise that a real tree is no more hazardous than artificial trees, as long as people are “smart” and remember to keep it watered. But hey, we live in the land of blaming inanimate objects for short comings, why change and accept responsibility once a year. Safety? Fuck safety, we need more fucking lights! Right? Right.

#3 Was Jesus Born On December 25th?

Oddly enough, though bible scholars agree that Christ was more likely born in late Spring or early Autumn, many people still subscribe to the belief that Christmas day is the actual date of his birth. Too many seasonal signs in the scriptures point to the likelihood that he was born during a warmer time of the year. The presence of shepherds in the fields is one of the more blatant signs, but I’m just saying. Centuries later, the Roman Catholics were spreading Christianity to the far reaches of Europe, and trying to assimilate the masses of heathens by superimposing the Christian faith over the pagan traditions already in place. In an attempt to overshadow the pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice, one of Christianity’s more important holy days was intentionally scheduled for December 25th.

#4 Is Christmas The Most Important Christian Holiday?

It may be surprising for many people to discover that, while the celebration of the birth of Christ ranks high in the religious charts, in the eyes of theologians, it comes in second. The birth of the Son of God is an important earmark in history, but the more notable spiritual moment occurred when Christ’s divinity was proven – at his resurrection. Easter marks the historical point where Jesus stopped being a man, and became immortal, and religious scholars consider this the most important landmark in the Christian faith. Interesting enough, the actual date of Easter is also in question, as its springtime celebration coincides suspiciously with the pagan fertility ritual, Ostara, which is where we get Easter eggs and bunnies. Sneaky, huh?

#5 Did Three Kings Visit Jesus In The Manger?

The bible does not say anything about kings visiting Jesus, at any time during his childhood. Scripture states that three wise men followed an exceptionally bright star in the east, finding their way to the Son of God, and bestowing expensive gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Since these alleged ‘wise men’ still believed in astronomical portents, and none of them had a Eurail pass, it is more likely that the magi caught up with Jesus around his first birthday. Centuries later, a mosaic in Ravenna, Italy, depicted the ‘gifts of the magi,’ and the names of the ‘three kings,’ Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar became part of this nativity myth and is still alive and kicking today.

#6 Is It Sacrilegious To Shorten Christmas To “X-Mas?”

The sad truth behind this myth simply illustrates how little modern Christians know about this holiday. Contrary to the belief that people who write “X-mas” are taking Christ out of Christmas, the habit of abbreviating the name is based on the Greek spelling of Christ, “Χριστός.” The Roman spelling also starts with an X. Entomologically, the argument could be made that people who write Christmas as X-mas are keeping the “Christ” in Christmas. This whole ‘X’ thing probably appeals to American rednecks, who can’t spell worth a shit, I know this personally.

#7 Are Santa Claus, Saint Nicolas And Father Christmas The Same Person?

The modern interpretation of Santa Claus, at least in America, is an amalgam of characteristics from several traditions; however, each of these traditions had very different points of origin.

Saint Nicolas was a Turkish bishop who, around the fourth century, dedicated his life to giving to the poor. He died on December 6th, so when the church canonized him, this date became St. Nicolas Day. In the 15th century, as attention focused back onto Christmas, and less on December 6th, Christians of that era wanted to keep the gift-giving tradition, and he became Father Christmas. The Dutch brought St. Nick to the New World, calling him sinterklaas. So, in America at least, Santa Claus is the modern representation of these varied cultures.

These widely held, but incorrect, beliefs don’t dampen the holiday spirits. It is more common these days for everyone to get their panties in a twist when someone says “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” Let’s face facts, not everyone celebrates Christmas, but my family and I do, hope that doesn’t get anyone’s ass all chapped. In reality, those who don’t celebrate Christmas don’t offend me, to each his own, the end. Many of your neighbors celebrate Hanukkah, or Kwanza or some will even argue with you to say they are the real Christians who do not believe in Christmas. These days it’s not uncommon to find new age pagans and wiccans, celebrating the Winter Solstice. Count yourselves lucky that, despite your differences, total strangers are willing to extend you the tidings of peace, brotherhood, and goodwill. Considering the intolerance that is so common in the Christian faith and throughout the world, take what you can get from your non-Christian neighbors, and don’t make problems where there aren’t any.

Regardless, of how – or what – you celebrate, have a safe and Merry Christmas season, and a prosperous New Year. So, there you have it, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Merry Christmas.

 

H/T to Scorpion Sting

 

Breaking News, The Embargo is Over!

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“BREAKING: Obama To Start Talks With Cuba To Establish Full Diplomatic Relations”

I just tuned into today’s news.  Our Emperor  is preparing to sign an “Escutive Order”  to open relations with Cuba.  “The Embargo is Over”    I can’t say that I totally approve of a giant infusion of tourist and American supportive dollars into that country and they don’t have to give up anything.  They  still have a Communist government with a seriously oppressive lifestyle that is the total antithesis of American freedom.  But this is what the liberal Democrats are all about anyway.

On the other hand,  this may not be such a bad thing. It may save some Cuban lives by improving conditions there. Cuba was once a great place for  rich Americans to party. They had casinos, hookers, dog tracks, Jai Alai, and Bacardi rum. Now we have all that stuff here in this country. They may have to come up with a new schtick to lure American tourists.

Maybe it’ll be their excellent health care.   (as advertised and touted by Michael Moore in his “documentary.”

H/T to Jim22 over at the Revo

Fun With Decorations

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Man how time flies,  heck it’s already the 14th of December. I’ve gotten out the Christmas decorations and the wife and I are decorating up the house, wrapping presents, and all the such.  It’s fun and I try to make the best of it before they have to go up.

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