A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Archive for the month “January, 2015”

I Could See It

Bitting-Dog

A man was telling his buddy, “You won’t believe what happened last night.”

My daughter walked into the living room and said, “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget about paying my college tuition, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take all my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.

Then, sell my car, take my front door key back from me and throw me out of the house.

Then, disown me and never talk to me again; and don’t forget to write me out of your will, and leave my share to any charity you choose.’ “

“Holy Cow,” replied the friend, “she actually said that?”

“Well, she didn’t put it quite that way; she actually said . . .

‘Dad, meet my new boyfriend – Mohammed. We’re going to work together on Hillary’s election campaign!

H/T to  Ain’t That the Truth

But Football Is So Incredibly Important

football

What’s with this stupid deflated football crap.  It’s every day,  all day, 24/7 on CNN,  and even on FOX.   Is this real news,  I mean, really?   Football is a GAME…  Nothing more.

The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (New Version)

ant

Two Different Versions …

Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION

The ant works Hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and Laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper Thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm And well fed.

The grasshopper has No food or shelter, so he Dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:

Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard In the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house And laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant Is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper Calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be Allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, And ABC show up to Provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper Next to a video of the ant In his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, This poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears On Oprah With the grasshopper And everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green …’

Occupy the Anthill stages A demonstration in front of the ant’s House where the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.

Then Rev Al Sharpton’s assistant Has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper While he damns the ants.

The Reverend Al cannot attend as he has Contractual commitments to appear on his MSNBC show for which he is paid  Over two million dollars a year to complain that rich people do not care.

President Obama condemns the ant And blames President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope For the grasshopper’s Plight.Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid Exclaim in an interview on The View That the ant has Gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, And both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant To make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts The Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act Retroactive to the beginning of The summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number Of green bugs and, Having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper And his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food While the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, Crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken Over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.The entire Nation collapses Bringing the rest Of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be careful how you vote in 2016.

Free School

college

State of the Union

ex order looting

Did anyone watch this? I admit I saw about twenty minutes of it, then I had to turn it to something more interesting and way more believable. The Sci-Fi channel was playing “The X-Files” marathon.

Senator Cruz Sums It Up

Pretty well covers my thoughts on the part of the State of the Union speech by President Obama.

I do love how people like President Obama sees absolutely no irony in trumpeting the call for everyone to have a fair chance; to succeed, to contribute equally… but turns around and says “We are going to tax one group of people more heavily than they already are”.

Yeah, because one group paying the 80% of all the taxes while another group (47% of the American population pays nothing) is really ‘fair’.

On the other hand… Obama does have a sense of humor and he proved it when he said this:

“My first duty as Commander-in-Chief is to defend the United States of America.”

Not only did he actually say that but he delivered that line with a perfectly straight face. I thought he was serious at first but then I remembered who was talking.
 

 

MLK Day

king

Beer Break

beeer

I’ve decided that all this terrorist  activities and all the wrangling by our own government to Not say anything deemed as “anti-muslim” to potientially hurt any feelings of the new prefered religous group within this country.

I’m heading down to “The Growlerie” to have a few beers.

Buckle up, Patriots.

In the wake of the terrorist attacks in Paris last week, the White House has scheduled an anti-extremism conference that was originally set for last October but was postponed without explanation.

In a statement issued as many world leaders gathered in the French capital Sunday to express solidarity with France and to vow renewed efforts to fight violent Islamic radicalism, the White House announced that its summit on the issue of homegrown terrorism will take place next month. MORE       H/T to Wirecutter

cnn

Yeah, get ready for the ride because you know Patriots will be included in that group of extremists.

Here’s a tweet from a leading correspondent from CNN sending out her drivel supporting the radicals in the Muslim world yet condemning the Tea Party groups as “terrorists.”

I’m also expecting some real gun control legislation to come out of this from our fearless political leaders!

Shopping Day

While at Wal-Mart…  Yell out,   “Hey,  There is no toilet paper in here!”

walmart

I got up and it was pretty outside.  Well, as pretty as any January day in Oregon.  It was sunny at least.   I gathered my favorite long range rifle, suppressor, targets, spotting scope, special hand-loads, and some snacks and my lucky hat.  As I was loading up my stuff, my wife called down.  Hey,  I’m going shopping today and I need you to go with me to carry some stuff….  grrrr.

Oh well, I put my stuff back in the safe and changed gears.

…  which doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while being out shopping for “girl stuff” with the little woman.

Got an Angry Woman on my Hands

angry1

 

My wife got angry with me the other day. I know what you’re thinking… “big deal, isn’t that what all women do?” Well, I guess that I’ve been pretty lucky. We’ve been married for 30 years and we still get along. In my early days, she was the girl that hung around and did things with me. (No, not like that.)   It was a little strange. She was just like one of my guy friends. I didn’t even think of her as a girl back then, she a girl and a friend. Not a “girlfriend”. We went out in the boat, fishing, shooting, racing cars, making home-made rockets, throwing beer bottles at road signs, acting stupid … you know, guy stuff… except she was a girl and liked to have fun. We had a lot of fun together and she was my best friend. It wasn’t until much later that I recognized her as an actual girl and we began to get romantic. (I fully admit that I’m not the brightest crayon in the box). Well, one thing led to another and eventually we were married. Fast forward 30 years later. We are still best friends and we still hang out together. She went to the gun show with me just the other day. I bought her a new machete sized Kukri for the “emergency kit” that lives in her car. She had to go out and chop something, first thing. She’s great.

ut really, as unbelievable as it may sound, we rarely fight. But the other day, she got pretty angry. I actually had to leave and go to The Growlery as a reprieve.

How did this happen, you ask?   I occasionally have her proof my blog posts before it goes out. Remember, I acquired my writing skills back in Alabama. This time she took one look and said, “ I can’t believe you’re writing this. Don’t you have any common sense?”   I was dumbfounded and I a little hurt by her abruptness. So I blurted out some defensive comments… then I made a quick apology. But it was already too late… she was on the fast track to fury.

When I got back from the Growlery, she and I both had a calm, adult discussion. And in the end, I actually saw her point. She explained, “I can’t believe you’re writing this. Think about it. It was great 20 years ago, but we live in a different time now. In this day and time of political correctness, you could not only be shunned for an off color opinion, but you could mess up your career. Nut jobs could come here and want to commit violence. (Like they did in France) Heck, don’t you remember poor Salman Rushdie? He wrote something derogatory about the Muslim faith and they put a price on his head… a real live bounty for his death! Don’t think this can’t happen to you. If one of the liberals from work were to read some of this, because of the racial tones, you could be called to “the integrity office” and even fired for your view. Do you think losing your job is worth your venting on this blog? Let’s face it, the first amendment is gone. It only exists if you are speaking what the left wants to hear. Otherwise, you need to be very careful. I love you and I know you mean well. But you’re a little naive when it comes to the ways of underhanded leftist politics… especially in the workplace. So, write about fun stuff, or just tone it down. The liberals consider some of this blasphemous. You’re painting a huge target on yourself, and eventually, you will be sorely sorry for your published opinions”  

orwell

I thanked her for helping me out. She did have a point. I’ve even written more than one post on the fears of George Orwell’s 1984 predictions coming to reality.

In the end, I agreed to try to tone it down and write and be more politically correct. But on the other hand, I can wish for a better, more free America. I can also admire and support those who do write without fear… (And haven’t yet been incarcerated for venting their 1st Amendment feelings).

Here’s an example from a friend.   I frequently purchase gun parts from him. He’s writing a response to the recent ruling by the BATF on private machining of gun parts. And he’s written a letter, in crayon, to the head of the BATF. All I can say is “Man, this guys got some huge balls.”

View the ‘According to B. Todd Jones Coloring Book’

 

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