More Fun with the TSA
All wasn’t lost. Because of my OCD, we had gotten to the airport early with plenty of time to get through security and for any conceivable delay. We still had a whole hour to spare. I went to the agent at the Alaska desk to see if there were any alternative seats available. Maybe I could upgrade or get a seat in the back of the plane so my wife wouldn’t be so mad at me. Much to my surprise, there were upgrades available, I immediately upgraded the both of us to 1st class… then I kept it a secret. I went off to the bathroom to relieve myself before the flight and then to the convenient mart to get a bottle of water for the flight. The TSA won’t allow any carry-on liquids on the plane… but it’s perfectly acceptable to purchase them once you pass the gate. While I was there, I noticed that they also had fingernail clippers for sale in the shopping mart! What the hell? I immediately bought it and shoved in into my bag.
Forty minutes later, the ticket agent said, “For Alaska airlines 234 to Hawaii, we are now boarding all gold members and first class passengers.” I got up and grabbed my wife, “come on, that’s us.” She looked confused but got up anyhow. We got onto the plane and sat down in the first row seats and she smiled, “Hey, you didn’t tell me you had first class.” I smiled back, “it was a surprise.” She was all happy as she looked around in her new surroundings. As all of the general-boarding passengers flooded by, the stewardess came by with a tray of drinks, “would you like a Mai-Tai or a Mimosa? I grabbed a Mimosa as my wife asked, “wait! … don’t we have to pay for alcoholic beverages?” I responded with a smile, “nope, first class drinks free… only the commoners back in the cattle-car section have to pay” as I pulled out my newly purchased fingernail clipper and began working on my little finger. She was back to not-happy. I had a good laugh.