A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Archive for the month “May, 2015”

Meat is Murder

murder

People working in surgery have limited exposure to their peers.  We work in a windowless room with a surgeon, an anesthesiologist, and a sleeping patient.  Occasionally we have a resident or a student trying to learn a new surgical technique. But that’s it for the day.   So, sometimes the conversation may get a little dry.  At lunch, we all get together.  The other day, I was eating a leftover three piece fried chicken dinner from KFC and a CRNA started talking about my choice of lunch.  Because of a potential HIPAA  violation, I won’t use her real name.  So for this, I’ll simply call her Joan.  Well, Joan went rattled on about how “eating meat was murder” and “how bad KFC corporation treated the chickens” and on and on.  I looked over at her diet and said, “hey what’s that brown stuff you’re eating?”  She smiled,  “It’s Hummus, the best,  most wholesome food available… you should try it.”   I took a look and said, “well Joan, I’d try it, but what kind of animal does it come from?   And I’m pretty sure it’s not the best food available.  Because if that were true it,  would be bacon. Have  you ever eaten bacon Joan?”  She sniffed and turned grumbling how “eating meat was murder.”

Anyhow that was yesterday.  And today is my day off.  I was getting hungry and didn’t feel like cooking.  I decided to go to the store for something quick.  I usually ask my wife before I start anything so she can decide.  She said,  “I think I feel like some chicken.”  So the decision was made.  I walked up to Safeway to see what they had.  They had the whole,  broiled chickens on sale!  I got one of those,  along with some mac and cheese, and some steamed vegetables from the deli section.  I headed back as quick as I could.  On the way back, the smell torturous.  It was making me salivate.  I really love those chickens.  Once I finally made it back,  I set up a couple of plates for the two of us.  But when I opened the package and got the chicken out,  I made a disturbing observation.  I noticed the poor chicken’s little flapper arms,  and the little legs all bound together with a heavy cord.  As I carefully removed the bindings, I thought to myself…  Yep, this is pretty hard to deny.   Hey, I could possibly be an accessory to murder.

Damn good chicken though…

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Do we still even have a 1st Amendment

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I wonder, what would be the equivalent of the attack on our World Trade center where 3,000 innocent lives were lost by the Murdering Muslims who are upset with American freedoms.  I for one believe that Pamela Geller of Texas,  should be praised, for showing America and the rest of the world that we are not going to be intimidated by these Radical bullies. Are we going to change our way of life and throw our Freedom of Speech out the window because we are afraid of offending these Fanatics representing “the religion of peace?”  If we live in fear, then the terrorists have won. Don’t be fooled; it is not about cartoons, this is about our criticism of Islam.  Because the liberals feel that appeasement may prevent further retaliation.  If we allow the liberals to squelch our first amendment then the terrorists have won. When are we Americans going to realize that the Islamist Radicals of the world don’t need any provocation? When are we going to stand up on our own two feet and shout that we are Not Going To Take It Anymore? What would happen if all the Christians got together and started blowing up any and all buildings that supported Robert Mapplethorpe ? The left is taking the argument that Pam Geller was wrong to provoke the extremists.  Seriously?  I say Pam Geller has the absolute right to draw any cartoon she wants to, be it the of the Prophet Muhammad, Moses, Jesus, President Obama, or of anyone else for that matter.  It can be hateful, angry, or even racist cartoons about any figure she so chooses.  That’s what Free Speech is all about. I’m sorry but I defend the “right to hate.” as well as the right to love.  When you say “free speech” you really open the door and nothing is off limits.  You can’t have it both ways.  H/T Edgetho

Do the Muslims have the right limit our Constitution?  Do they have the right to Kill in order to make their point? Does the left support people murdering others in the name of religion?

You either have Freedom of Speech of you don’t.

I think George Orwell along with a few of our forefathers are rolling over in their graves over this.

I Don’t Care for Glocks

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Since my New Gun post, I’ve gotten several e-mails about “why didn’t you get a Glock?” Or “Hey, you know that all the police, FBI, and most of the world’s law enforcement uses Glocks. It’s only the US Army that uses the Beretta, and that was due to some underhanded palm-greasing by Dick Cheney.”

Well, I didn’t get a Beretta because I was trying to copy the military, the navy, Mel Gibson, or Lethal Weapon, or anything else like that. I got a Beretta because I like they way the shoot and I like the way they feel in my hand. That is all.

I never realized how many Glock fans were out there. Heck, I never realized how many Glock fans that followed my blog.

Well, for all you “Glock lovers” out there, I didn’t get a Glock because I simply don’t like the way they feel in my hand. I simply prefer the feel of metal in my hand over plastic. It’s as simple as that. Oh, and I don’t want to worry about leaving my gun in a hot car in the summer heat, or near my sisters dog. (see pic)   So enough already with Glock e-mail.

This Makes Me Sikh

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Call me narrow minded.  Call me bigoted… whatever.  I know that the liberal drivel about being flexible,  accepting of alternate ideas and embracing diversity is all well and good if you are working at a Starbucks.  But this is the American Military.  There is a reason they call what the soldiers wear a “uniform.”   The military dress code and the military discipline draws it’s members together to form a very tight cohesive team.  They not only work together, they will fight together and protect each other to the death if necessary.  It has been this way since there were soldiers fighting in wars.  Even the Roman soldiers back in the days of Jesus wore a military uniform and adhered to a uniform code.  The US military is (or was) the greatest fighting force on the planet.   With the advent of liberal ideas of a kinder, gentler, more diverse military, our fighting forces is being neutered by the  Democrats…

Or maybe that was their goal.

California may eventually not be all bad…

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The wife and I went for a drive last week.  Whenever we get more than two days off in a row, we take a drive somewhere.  Last week we went to the San Juan Islands in Washington state.  We simply get in the car with a change of clothes and a tooth brush, and pick a point on the compass and go.  The week before we went South.  We ended up in Medford and we stayed the night at a wonderful little bed and breakfast in Jacksonville. In our travels and exploring, we made a wrong turn and, all of a sudden, we passed a sign that clearly read, “welcome to California.” I was not happy. The traffic was heavy and I couldn’t just turn around. So we drove on. When we got to the Redwood National Park I turned into the first campground and turned around to head back to Oregon. My wife clearly wanted to go deeper into California. I said, “sweetie, I have my gun with me… and I don’t really went to go anywhere I could be considered a felon. So we really need to get back to Oregon.”

This got me to thinking, I mean, California is indeed a beautiful state and it does have some nice places. I would like to go visit and even spend some money there. But on the other hand, why does it have to be so crazy liberal, and why do I feel so bad when even a cent of my money goes to support a wacko liberal cause? My wife even went as far to comment, “now don’t you go and say that all of the people of this state are nuts. Surely there are some conservatives and Christians in California.” I thought a minute, and said, “if there were, why don’t they vote? If they are outnumbered, then why don’t they leave this stupid corrupt state? I hear all the time about liberals leaving California to spread their insanity and corruption to other states. I hear how “liberal it’s getting” and how many “liberal nuts are moving here” stories from a bunch of my friends in Montana and Texas. Why don’t the conservatives of that state do something? After all, it’s the public majority that continuously re-elect these crooked, wacky-liberal, politicians that propagate the ridiculous laws that plague the state.

I don’t really know… I think the reason Californians don’t leave is because they’re content screwing up their own state.  Really, the last thing we need is those people voting in other states. California is a paradise of a state as far as natural recourses, but the liberal politics make it unlivable.  California Wins “Worst State for Business” for 11th Year in a row!

After careful research, I have come up with a solution for the liberal plague infecting California.  In the state 40% of the population voted for the Republican in the last governor’s election…it’s those people I don’t get why they’re staying.  But solving the issue is simple.  (see the pic above)  It’s the implementing the solution is what’s going to be difficult.  My wife said, “just be patient John,  soon it will happen.  And I believe it may happen all on it’s own. Just you wait and see.”

 

The problem, I’m not a patient man…  where’s Lex Luthor when you need him?

War on Poverty

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How to get $75k in benefits for you and your girlfriend.

Follow these proven steps:

1. Don’t get married to her.
2. Use your mom’s address to get mail sent to.
3. The guy buys a house.
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay 900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t pay insurance.
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets 600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone
10. Girlfriend get free utilities.
11. Guy moves into home but uses moms house to get mail sent to.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now you both get to claim head of house hold at $1800 credit.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” at $1800 a month and never has to work again.

This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.

A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars income.

An unmarried couple with a stay at home mom will net:

21600 disability
+
10800 free housing
+
6000 free Obamacare
+
6000 free food
+
4800 free utilities
+
6000 Pell grant money to spend
+
12000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant
+
8800 tax benefit for being a single mother
=
$75,000 a year in benefits

Hmmmm…Any idea why the country is 18 + trillion in debt?

Radical Ideas

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I think it’s a little ironic that I work in surgery.  I’m a surgical nurse and yet, I don’t actually believe in surgery.  OK, If you accidentally fall and break your leg,  and your under 70,  and you have insurance, or some other way to easily pay your bill,  and you have no other co-morbidities,  or your otherwise basically healthy… yes you should get it fixed.

I feel that about 96% of what we do in the medical world is not necessary.  Living a clean healthy life, eating good food and regular exercise is all anyone really needs.  Yes, there are always exceptions but this is for most people…  Normal people.  There are few who have rotten luck and was dealt a bad hand with the deck of genetic cards.

I went to see my cardiologist for a check-up this week.  I did a stress test, he stuck a needle in my arm and drew a bunch of blood.  He sat down and talked to me to explain the findings.  He said that I have rotten genetics and that I would eventually need surgery.

I found it a little funny. Especially after I explained my feelings for surgery and my plan of ongoing treatment.  He said that he was concerned and “sounded radical” …

I mean “eating a healthy diet, walking (exercising) everyday, and stress reduction is considered radical.  Allowing someone to slice your chest open and graft your leg veins into your heart is considered normal and conservative.”

Hmmm

New Gun

M9

This is my blog and I’m allowed personal gun posts. Here’s one…  I went to the gun store to buy some speed loaders for my .38 and found a Beretta sale.  I couldn’t help it.  They had a Beretta 9mm with extra magazine, range bag, ear protectors, glasses and some other odds and ends with a  $100 bucks off coupon.  It came to around $400 even.

It’s a Beretta M9. Standard issue to our Soldiers. 15 rounds of 9 mm goodness. This is the Star of “Diehard.” And “Lethal Weapon.” So, you ask, why this? Why now?  Well, that’s a story for another time.  I had a Beretta once and I traded it off and was sorry ever since.  Now the chance to own another couldn’t be ignored.

The Beretta is a full size pistol that is pretty reliable and shoots pretty accurately.  The parts are cheap and plentiful,  and the ammo is cheap.  Heck, the US military has used the Beretta for over 30 years.  I  know that there has been ongoing controversy since 1985. The U.S. military replaced the .45 caliber 1911 pistol with the M9 in 1985 and began using the 9mm NATO round at that time. Soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan have said that the 9mm round is not powerful enough to be effective in combat.  I don’t  know about that.  The 9mm has killed a lot of people since it’s beginning in 1902 and it will probably continue to do it’s job with great efficiency for many years to come.

As far as the controversy, I own both.  I find that both the 9mm and the .45 are equally good in what they do.

You want to hear the funniest thing about this M9? It came with two magazines. Two TEN ROUND magazines. Thanks Maryland!   I’ll be happier when Beretta’s new production plant in Tennessee is up and running.  The really nice guys at Keith’s Sporting Goods let me trade up for two 15 rounders.  Heck,  I went ahead and bought two additional full size magazines.  You never know when those pesky liberals will enact another “high capacity” magazine ban.  While I was on a roll, I even got a couple 30 rounders too.  Because I can… So, say hello to the first Beretta in the Taylor. armory… That is all for today.

I’m headed off to the range. That’s Tri-County. See ya there

Not all Physicians are Assholes

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Not all doctors are assholes.  But a lot of them are still crazy.

Just like lawyers, physicians are either loved or hated.  If a lawyer is trying to keep you out of jail, he’s the best ever.  If he’s trying to put you there, he’s lower than whale poop.   Doctors seem to be rated by the same scale.  If a doctor is working to rid you of cancer, he’s pretty stellar.  If you die, then your family probably won’t give him a good review on the Press Ganey satisfaction survey.

In the work world, I really don’t care if doctors are naughty or nice.  I just want to get through the day without too much violence or profanity.  I prefer someone that I can easily get along with, but you get what you get.  Most of the time, they are either just like me,  neutral, you know,  just trying to get a job done with the least amount of drama,  or they’re way off the scale, in a bad way.  I mean bad like Hannibal Lecter on a bad day. They’re always doing bad crap that will rapidly get everyone involved in a big fat lawsuit.   In their insanity, they can’t even comprehend that I’m not trying to be an asshole.  That my one and only wish is to get through the day without some lawyer calling to say,  “how did you allow this surgeon to leave six lap sponges and a hemostat in this poor grandmother?  We’re not only going to sue you for a gadzillion bucks, but we’re going to the state board to take your license…”   But,  when I try to search for the lost sponges before the patient actually leaves the room, the doctors curse and yell.  “It’s not in the  *@#*!%!!  patient !” Or they will fly into a rage when I mention that this new turn in the game plan is NOT clearly spelled out on the surgical consent.”  Somehow the nurses have become the policemen of the  OR.   This can make a day a little tough.

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On the other hand, I have found that some doctors may go the other way, as in nice.  Believe me, they are far and few between,  but it’s pretty cool to have a nice person once in a while.  The other day,  I witnessed a surgeon go to a patients house to pick them up.  When this patient had recovered, the surgeon again took time to drive them home.  He even made the resident go along to “help out”.  The resident said that he walked the patient in the house helped them change and tucked him into bed and then locked the door on the way out… wow.

I thought this doctor should get the Saint award… until today.

Dr. Smith is an ear doctor and he’s new to my hospital.  He replaced another ear doctor who was an insane flaming hemorrhoid of a human being.  It’s quite funny (to me),  Dr. Jones didn’t say two words to anyone.   All other staff was considered beneath him. Then he suddenly quit to become a radio talk show personality.  Now Dr. Jones talks to everyone all day long .

Anyhow, this new guy, Dr. Smith,  is just as skilled a surgeon as the old guy,  but he’s actually really nice too.    Well, last week Dr. Smith told me this story about helping out one of his patients.  I still can’t believe it.  Although, Dr. Smith has passed everyone else to the title of “Dr. Saint,”  he’s still a little touched in the sanity department.

Anyhow, he had a patient that was totally deaf and was getting a tumor removed that would restore most of his hearing.  This patient was a rural 12 year old boy.  He and his family were very poor and  lived a long way from the hospital.  The family was not only poor but they were Amish.  They said that they would not take a “hand out” and they couldn’t possible afford to stay in a hotel  for the treatment,  much less the recovery period.  They said that they couldn’t even afford to make the trip back for his follow-up visit.  “The surgery will have to be cancelled” sayeth the family.   So, to enable the patient to keep his appointment and get the much needed surgery,  he invited the family to stay with him  in his home.    He admitted that he didn’t know these people.  And after he agreed to let these people, move into his home for the duration,  then made several discoveries.  First,  these people were Amish.  As Amish, they didn’t partake of any modern conveniences, nor did they have any idea of how anything worked.  Dr. Smith said that it was “a little stressful in the beginning.  The simple things like the microwave ovens and dishwashers were “totally foreign”… but they  “seemed to be pretty smart, very practical and very fast learners.”

I said, “wow, you let these people, whom you didn’t even know, stay in your house?”

He said,  “yeah, they were Amish people.  They were religious and prayed every day.  If you can’t trust these people, who can you trust?”    Then he went on,  “and you know the funny part, I didn’t know how many of them were actually there.  At one time, I counted thirteen of them, but I didn’t really know.”

I asked, “but why didn’t you know?”  They were coming in and leaving all the time.  They were bringing food and praying … and they all dressed the same.  It’s hard to get a real number if the total is greater than ten and they look similar and all dress in the same clothes.”  I didn’t understand and he said, “they all dressed in black and with the same dress suit.  The women all wore the same black dress.”   I laughed,  “I bet your neighbors looked at you funny, with all that going on.  People in all black coming and going.”  He said, “you know, this is the funny part.  They didn’t care at all.  All of this happened over the week of Halloween.  They must have thought it was some sort of Halloween thing.”

We all laughed again.  The entire OR crew agreed that Dr. Smith did disserve the “Dr. Saint” award.

A Healthy Dose Liberal Irony

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Yesterday a bunch of environmentalists, “Kayaktavists” in Seattle had a protest.  They were against the drilling of oil in Alaska.  Really?  Why does anyone in Seattle think that they have anything to say about another state (Alaska)?   Where do they think that their oil or gasoline actually comes from?

They came in automobiles fueled by oil, wearing clothing made from oil, to protest oil, in kayaks made from oil. Then they tweeted their photos on phones made from oil and then drove home.

It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if gas went up to $15 bucks a gallon.  Lets see what happens to the economy then.  Lets see what happens to their job at the book store, Starbucks coffee, or the organic community store when gas is higher.  Do they ever think it through… if by some miracle,  they are successful?

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