Cell Phone at the Movies
As I said that I saw Ant-Man the other night. I’m still having it on my mind. The bad guy in the movie, Corey Stoll , he was majorly annoyed by our hero’s use of his army of ants. I may be somehow sympathizing with the bad guy over his dislike of ants. Maybe it was my years of living in Alabama and having encounters with Fire Ants, I don’t know.
Anyhow, I had a major annoyance of the small variety while at the movie. I got popcorn and a large drink. About half way through the movie, that large coke was starting to come through. I got up and went to the rest room. At the theater, there was a whole row of urinals in the men’s room. While I was relieving myself, a guy walked in and unzipped and started doing his business in the urinal right next to me! Did I just say “there was a whole row of urinals” in that particular men’s room? … and he saddles up right next to me. I couldn’t just cut and go, I was in mid stream, for goodness sake. I still had about a quart left to drain. I tried not to glance over… eyes straight ahead, I thought. Then all of a sudden, he blurted out, “Hey… how ya doin?” After an uncomfortable pause, he said, “Hey, can you hear me?” After another, even more of an uncomfortable moment, I couldn’t stand it, I cut off and began to put my equipment away as I simultaneously turned to see what this crazy man was blabbering about. What the heck, am I going to have to have an incident here in the Cinetopia bath room? When I turned, he was a typical guy, dressed a little yuppyish, a clean haircut and a button down shirt. He was looking straight ahead. As I looked at him, he noticed me saying, “yeah, I’m here at the movies…” and pointed at his little blue-tooth in his ear. Damn! I was relieved and, at the same time very annoyed at this ass, who just had to pee right next to me, and then decided to strike up a very loud, and very annoying, conversation with someone else while peeing. I went back to the movie only two-thirds relieved. Thankfully I made it to the end without having to pee again… whew.
On the other hand, I might just get me one of those blue-tooth ear-buds. Not to talk free-handed on the phone, but to talk about people and have them think that I’m talking to someone else. Like if I’m at the checkout line at Wal-Mart next to the typical 370 pound woman with the tube top, pajama bottoms, and four kids all of different ethnicities. I suddenly start, “Oh my gosh, that’s one ugly baby…” and as the woman looks my way I say, “yeah, honey, if you really think you can sell those puppies, then go for it…” as I smile and point to my ear-bud. That just might save me from saying inappropriate things at places where inappropriate things seem to just fly out.