A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Risky Behavior (part2)


This  past weekend, my wife and I went on a diving excursion.  We went out on a charter boat to an island and dove on a reef.  The water was about 200 ft. at the deepest but the visibility was amazing. Anyway, when we were getting ready to go, she said, “hey, it’s going to be really sunny, so we had better use some sun-screen.”  I looked under the skink and found this really old stuff we apparently purchased while on vacation at Disney.  It’s at least ten years old and even has a picture of Mickey on the front.  I thought, “hey, this might work”. I squirted a little out on my hand. I saw that it was a swirly mixture of dark yellow oil, brown cream and pure white chalky clumps.  It smelled vaguely of rotten eggs.  I took one look and “I’m not rubbing this crap on my body… I believe this crap could actually cause cancer.”  My wife calmly said, “do what you like, I’m using it,”  as she gobbed a handful of the mixture on herself.  It looked strange.  The yellow oily stuff left her skin really shiny while the brown part became dry after a few minutes, and the white just caked up on her skin like baby powder.  Not wanting to get a serious sun burn, I ran down to the corner store to purchase some brand new,  state-of-the-art, sun protection.  I found a bottle that said “New” and “guaranteed waterproof” and “100 SPF protection”.  My time was limited before the boats departure and this seemed like great stuff.  I asked the clerk and he responded, “hey man, that’s the best stuff ever.  It’s spray on.  You just spray it on and it’s good for, like all day…”  I was sold.  I threw down  my money and walked out.   I sprayed it all over my body and after reading the claims, was quite happy with my level of protection.

While out on our excursion, the Disney brand goop was not waterproof and my wife was seen re-applying her sunscreen ever few hours.  Looking at her, there were clearly dark, light and shiny areas on her body where the separated Disney cream had been spread.  She even said, “hey, you want some of this stuff”  as she rubbed in into her legs?”  I laughed, “heck no,  I got the new modern stuff that’s waterproof and advertised to last all day.”  She looked concerned and said, “well, ok then.  If you change your mind, it’s right here.”

When we started to head in, I begin to feel the burn.  I began to think to myself, just maybe this sunscreen wasn’t as waterproof as advertised.  The next day, I was really suffering.  My skin was covered with multiple albumin filled blisters.   I went out and got some Benadryl and Aloe cream to get me past this.   It was laughable at this point because everywhere we went after that, for the entire vacation,  people would comment.  Like if we went into a restaurant, the waitress would immediately say, as soon as she saw me,  “oh my gosh, you really need to use sunscreen.”  I would try to explain that I did indeed use sunscreen.  I just didn’t use enough.  What I need now is some aloe lotion… but they stopped listening after  the first few words I uttered.  This reaction repeated itself everywhere we went, to the point of, quite possibly a few hundred times that same day.

I got over it, but now I’m at an even higher risk of Melanoma.  I just hope and pray that if it occurs, it will be somewhere in plain view.


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