A Nurse With Attitude

Where Dark Cynical Humor, Nursing Issues, and Politics Seem to Merge

Drugs are Really Dangerous

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I love medical research and I work at a research hospital and I actively take part in many research projects each year. When I was a PACU (recovery room) nurse, I was always amazed how people woke up and their reactions to the anesthetic drugs.

Hallucinogens are bad and, except for some strange psychological experiments done by the government in the sixties, I can’t see any real reason anyone would take them. I don’t take LSD or anything like it, but I have found, in my advanced age, that simple sugar, in certain circumstances, can have a similar effect. I love sugar. I love all kinds of sugar. I especially love the chocolatey sugar. Sweet chocolate cake, pie, brownies with chocolate syrup on top. Heck, I probably could eat the white stuff right out of the sugar bowl. I have found that if I indulge in anything chocolatey late at night, I will suffer with the bizarre hallucinogenic effect of the “drug” in the ways of wild, crazy and vivid dreams. Sometimes, if I know that I have consumed a particularly large sample of sweet goodness, like a half pan of brownies, moments before bedtime, I may even leave a note pad at my bedside to jot down my dreams so that I can remember enough to tell others. This way, when I read back my mad scribblings of a sleep induced dream, I feel a little like H. P. Lovecraft .

I have found experimenting with “drugs” this way is not for the faint of heart and can, possibly be very dangerous. I decided I wanted to test the effect on someone else. I felt I was doing important psychological research. I wanted to see if this effect was, just me and my brain chemistry or could it have the same effect on anyone else taking the same dose of the “medication.” I also wanted to have someone that I could monitor and check if the subject’s dreams, in any way matched my dreams. Happy with my thesis, I decided to work out the details.

I made a pan of brownies the other night. I served them up for my lovely bride and myself. I put Tillamook vanilla bean ice cream, chocolate syrup and then powdered sugar on top.   The hot molting brownies and cool ice cream was heavenly. We both had to have a second extra large helping. I knew what was about to happen, but I stayed silent and decided to “wait and see.” I even placed my note pad at my bedside to jot some notes of my own dreams, just in case I want to publish later.

Much to my surprise, I was startled awake at about 3AM. My lovely wife had awaken and then woke me with her sharp elbow. She was talking in a slightly raised voice, in that tone that all men recognize as the “I’m serious, and you are in deep trouble” voice. This shocked me awake almost instantly. What possibly could be wrong?   I tried to console her and ask what was the matter. She flipped over and jumped out of the bed and stomped into the bathroom. I heard some water running and then she returned. “Well, are you ok?…what is the matter?” I asked. She looked at me with angry red eyes and said, “I had a dream that you were having an affair.” I smiled, “Ahh, so you had a vivid sugar induced dream?” She looked at me again. This time a little softened and a little confused, “It was so real. I was so sure.”   I explained to her about the “brownie effect” and how such extreme chocolatey goodness can have some strange side effects. She was still angry and insisted on telling me all about her dream. “It was an Asian-Native American girl. She was very young and very beautiful. And she was pregnant with your baby and you didn’t seem to care…” as she went on I could see the tension fading. When she finished, she seemed relieved and we both laughed. “Yeah, I guess that was a pretty unbelievable dream, now that I think about it.” I told her about some of my dreams and how the can be so vivid.   I even told her about my bedside note pad, and how I wrote down my own dreams for later review, and that she should get her own note pad for the same purpose. She said, “no, I don’t think that I will. I won’t be eating rich foods anymore, this late at night.” I frowned, “Sweetie, it was just a dream.   It’s not a high price to pay for such chocolatey goodness.” She said, “I know, but you don’t understand… I was ready to kill you.” Then she had that serious look again. Then I knew, really just how dangerous “hallucinogenic foods” could be. I also decided that I would never do “research” with my wife ever again.

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